Debut and Goodbye
Well... I am proud to announce that the opening day of "Somehow" was widely successful. Ryan and I reached our goal of breeching 200 plays within 24 hours, so that was awesome (I believe it is presently at 207). Now, to clarify... that's my overall activity. The song itself reached 140, which is still incredible. I am a happy camper... I'll tell you that much. haha, but really, I am very pleased, and I'm so glad that people like it.
On that note.... haha get it?
anyways... I'm leaving later today, once I go to sleep... if I get to sleep (as I'm trying to finish up all these last minute things) to go visit colleges. Here's the agenda, in case you for some reason want to know:Tuesday (today)
-fly from Fort Myers to St. Louis, Illinois
-rent a car, drive an hour to Greenville
-check into hotel
-watch American IdolWednesday
-visit Greenville College
-drive five hours to Memphis, TN
-check into hotel
-watch American IdolThursday
-visit Visible School
-drive 3 hours to Nashville
-check into hotel
-Visit Belmont University
-hang out with Nate / Hilary / Phil? / Tim / do whateverSunday
-go to Hilary's church
-fly back down here in the afternoon
So yeah.... that's the plan. I'm excited. Prayer for discernment, an open mind, HEALTH, and smoothness would definitely be appreciated. Thanks! I may update throughout the trip, but who knows.... if not, I'll be sure to update when I'm back. Have a good week, everyone!
annnnd..... just in case you didn't know....hahamyspace.com/jeffcarlmusic ---> new song, "Somehow"
JC debut of "Somehow"
for you myspace folks...
and for you purevolume folks:
Supporting a Dream
Hey Saboo... just thought I'd conjure up some stuff to advertise your "campaign" towards your dreams. I made two ads, and already added one to my personal myspace (so check out there to see how it looks "live" on a real website, not just my blog. Anyways... here they are:
You know what's weird? Lately, in the area of music, I've had a few more doubts than normal. As I'm preparing for my auditions at VS and BU, of course I'm starting to get a little nervous. I start comparing myself to some of my favorite bands, and I begin to think "what am I doing? I am so far from that. Why am I convincing myself that I'm different... the exception to the rules... that I could maybe even be on the same par?" It's weird, because though I realize my level of ability and stuff, and that I'm far from the best, I don't normally doubt myself that much.
That said, for whatever reason, even with the recent increase in personal doubt, I also have this really weird feeling of... not necessarily confidence, but comfort. I guess... comfort with my future. You know, I often fall into the trap of what the world feels about my choice of career. The financial hardships. The social pressures. The ridiculous chances of "success." The list goes way on, but I keep having to remind myself of why I'm so passionate about what I do. It's not so that one day I could be a celebrity. It's not so that one day I could be fabulously rich. It's not so that people will want to be like me. Again, the list goes on.
I want to be an artist for one purpose, or even more specifically person: God. That is the reason why emotionally, it's a roller coaster for me, because God is my passion, but so often, I'm failing him. That drives me insane. Trying to be an ambassador for Christ when my relationship with him is, at times, not healthy is crazy. It's continually a journey for me. Every day, I face my challenges.
However, in the end, I have my passion, which is more than some people can say. I'm chasing my dreams. I have my hope. I have my drive. It's weird, 'cause sometimes I feel like my goals are not enough. Some people talk about how they feel called to the mission field in Central America or Africa, and that is amazing to me. I am so inspired by that, but then I think of my situation, and I almost feel small or like I'm less spiritual for NOT feeling called to that. THEN.... I remember. Everyone has their own calling. My calling, as of right now, isn't to go to another country. My calling is here. My calling is in my music, whether I'm the best or not (haha... definitely not). My mindset is "I believe." I have to believe that there is some good left in America. I have to believe that there is hope left in this generation. I have to believe that someone like me can successfully pursue my dreams without giving up. Sure there are trials, but too many people buckle under those and compromise and settle for less. People give up their future, thinking they've failed and have nothing left to live for, but the reality is that we all have a future, one not in this life... THAT is what this life is about...letting people know of that future and the hope that is available to all.
Times right now are getting crazy. The dollar's going down. The war is going on. Abortion is very alive, like the unborn babies should be. Hollywood is insane. People are depressed about self-image, with so much publicity on diets, weight loss, medications, etc. Postmodernism is raging. Once once again.... the list goes on. PEOPLE NEED THE HOPE! I have to believe that I can help, even if just one person is affected by my music.
To conclude these thoughts, I'm going to get back to my subject of this post: Fresh. In my life right now, with all the unknowns staring me in the face, I'm so ready to move forward, because for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can. I feel like instead of talking to people about my dreams, but still being stuck in my home or something, I'm now moving forward. I'm getting ready to audition for something that'll bring me three or four years of training in my career. I know I'm not ready now, but i'm going to go to a school that'll teach me the rest of what I need to know...well... kind of. Of course the learning will never stop. I guess it just comes down to what you want to be remembered by. I don't want to leave this world knowing that I never gave it a chance. I've been accused of being too trusting of people or being too open with just anybody, and sure... that's not always healthy, but it defines the part of me that I'm discussing. I have to believe that there is some good left in this country...
I know I'm just babbling on, but I'm looking forward to these coming years. I don't know what it holds. Maybe God'll completely revamp everything. I have no idea. I do know one thing though. I know that I have my passion, and it's going to take a lot more than personal doubt to stop me from my reaching my dreams.
...and who knows? Maybe I can inspire some people to do the same.
We won't say our goodbyes. We know it's better this way.
Well, once again, I stared out the plane window watching NY turn to dots and ripples and then suddenly, puffy white. It was bitter-sweet. It was sweet in that my mind now turns to the exciting thought of moving back in March, which most people know of by now. It was bitter in knowing that it'd be two months before I'd be back. I mean, it's either all or nothing. I either go two months without having any friends to having two and a half weeks filled with non-stop friends. Don't get me wrong, I loved every moment of it, but all it really did was make me miss home even more. I miss all my friends. That said, I'm back here on Marco Island in a 7th story condo.... Ryan and I can't sleep in our room tonight, because it kind of "mini-flooded" while we were in NY, so a company had to come take all the furniture out and dry out the carpets/underneath the carpets.
But enough emo...ness. haha. Sorry.
I AM glad about a lot of things right now. First of all, Sabrina is coming down TOMORROW! I'm really excited. She'll be here until Friday, when Greg is coming, and then he's staying until next Tuesday, so I'm stoked for both visits. Secondly, I officially finished two college applications (Belmont and Visible School), so that's really exciting to finally have the ball roling on that. Thirdly, sooooooometime soon, I'm getting the new Mac, so I'm very excited for when that happens.
And, regardless of my mixed feelings of being back down here, I am so happy that I got to see all my friends. Let's see... all together there was (in order) Kaitlin, all of CCA, Kirstin, Amber, Greg (+family & Willy), Ben, all of my family (Dad, Mom, John [+ friend Povel], Laura, Dar, Dave, Ryan, Aunt Linda, Uncle Joe, Uncle Tom), Rachelle, Josh, Jordan, Lydia, Alyssa +Mr. & Mrs. Best and Evan, Greg (again), Tanya, Willy, Aidan, Greg & Willy again, Sabrina + her whole family, Josh Etheridge and Mr. and Mrs. Etheridge, Evan & Nate, then Darren, then all of Konnected + New Vine, then the Konnected gathering over at Josh's house, then Jessica Monastra (+ Erica Rosenburg and another person), then Katie, and throughout all of those people, random combinations of their families, family friends, parties with other people, church (aka a tonnnn of people), etc....
So as you can see, it was quite a visit home. Sure, I would have liked to see maybe a few more friends, but I'll take what I can get. haha... It was incredible.
God has blessed me with some incredible people in my life, and that is why I want to move back to NY. The weather is nice, the school is nice, my job is nice.... everything's fine down here, but truly... there is nothing like home.
Not to mention, once again.... it'll be an adventure.