taffy Have you ever had times where you don't know what exactly you are feeling, but you just get different feelings all at once? I don't know if it's the fact that I'm almost done with my elementary/middle/high school educational experience or what, but recently, I've been having these feelings of confusion in the area of career or passion. I just feel like I'm doing so much in my life right now, like I'm being really stretched. The thing is, I am enjoying what I'm doing, but it's almost like I'm doing so much that I can't really devote myself 100% to one of them, or even a couple or few. I'm trying to spread myself too thin, I think. Well, not TRYING to, but that is how it's working out. It's like I'll have spurts. There are times when I'll be devoting myself 100% to Perilous Times and other things will go second. Then there are times where my schedule is 90% Konnected and 10% Perilous Times. Then there are times when I have school, church, or freelance work taking up my whole schedule. Then there is this and that and this other thing and that thing over there. Then there are the things which I really want to do, but I can't even begin to think about, because it'd be impossible with my present schedule... like PEOPLE. I mean, I love my band, and I love Konnected, and I have the greatest of friends in both. The problem is, some of my other friends have been left out to dry because of my busy schedule.... OR there are some new friends which I'd really love to get to know more, but it's hard to get any free time. I just feel like I'm pleasing everyone too much and at the same time hurting people as well somehow, and I can't stand that. I'm glad God's given me specific abilities that I can use for him and help others out, but what happens when those abilities get in the way of the more important things like relationships. And even above that, I have my family situations going on. My family comes before all my other life things, and this past year has been one of the craziest years for us. So many things have happened that has required all of us to stretch to unfathomable levels. We've grown together through it all though. I just am afraid that some of my friends might not see all the behind-the-scenes stuff though and think that I am not committed to this or not devoted to this, when in reality, I'm working my butt of to try and get six or seven hours of sleep every night. I don't know. I've just had a lot of feelings of lack of direction and guidance. The worst part is, this has been going on for a long time, and I'm stupid enough to still fall to it every time. It's lack of time spent with God. I'm going to go spend some time getting caught up with him.

In general, prayer for my family would be really appreciated at this present time.



I hope what I just said made sense, because I'm tired. I just needed to get that out, whatever THAT may be.

-Jeff Carl  ¶ 10:19:00 PM