this is my now You know what. As I've told people about the move, lots of them have brought up the obvious "sad things" about moving. When I first began thinking about the move, I was immediately excited for some reason, totally ignoring the downsides. I was looking at it as an adventure. Then, like I said, some people started talking about all the downsides. It started getting me down.

Then I stopped, because....no, I'm not going to do that. See, I am totally aware of all the downsides. Believe me, I know all the things I'm leaving. It's so hard to think about sometimes. Everything I know is here in New York. I have made a lifetime of memories. My friends mean everything to me.

But you know what? My family means more. It is amazing how much I take my family for granted. I had the best childhood. It's hard to believe it's gone. I'm graduating. When I hear my parents talk about their childhood during random conversations, I'm so amazed, because it seems like a different world out there. THAT'S ME. I just lived that. I can't go back. The only thing I have is the memory. So believe me, everything I love is here in my memory, here in New York, here at home. My family is entering a new stage, though...

My brother John lives in Virginia. My sister and brother-in-law live in Charlotte, North Carolina. My relatives all live far away. Family is all that matters in the end, because no matter how far people move away.... however many friends said goodbye to... however many houses left... family is still there. That is the whole point of this move. We're living with my Grandaddy. So yes, I'm sad about what I'm leaving. Yes, I'm scared for the rest of my life, where I'm going to go... Yes, this is a HUGE thing...

but..

I'm not going to focus on the bad side. This opportunity is so exciting. It's jumping into a swirling, scintillating abyss of the unknown. My future could be waiting to happen down in Fl. There are so many what-ifs.... if I'm focusing on the bad constantly, what if I miss something important in my life? I could miss the door to my future.

I hope I didn't come across in the wrong way in this entry... I'm just really excited about this. I really am. Scared. Nervous. Curious. But happy. And best of all... with family.

I love my syblings. I love my parents. I do.



This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.  ¶ 10:55:00 PM