the line If I'm having a day that I'm not necessarily "fired up" about Jesus or doubting beliefs, etc, I wonder why. I struggle with the concepts of "what if" and "why." Why do I believe what I believe? What proof have I discovered for myself that solidifies Christianity? There is a part of me that's like, "God, why couldn't I have just lived back in your day on earth. If I had seen you in person, everything would be so much easier to believe." Right before God ascended back into Heaven at the end of his time on earth, he gave the great commission. If I had been there, you better believe I'd want to go tell people about it and not be afraid or confused. I would've just seen a friggin "human" float up into the sky! Uhhh... hello!?

But now it's been 2,000 years. Two thousand years later, and yes, we have the Bible, but in a sense, what we've been given is "word of mouth." The problem is that I feel like the Bible just leads to cyclic thinking.

"Why is the Bible true?"
"Because God says it is."
"Oh, oh... cool. How do you know God said that?"
"Because it's in the Bible."

....huh.

Two thousand years. The proof. Wouldn't it just be so much easier if Christianity was just a fact. You could still choose whether or not you'd want to follow it, but at least it would be a fact. Now, if some people are reading this and getting all freaked out wondering if I'm questioning my faith and going off the deep end, rest assured... I'm okay. I'm just simply stating my thoughts on how I struggle with the faith aspect of Christianity. I'm okay with "believing" off of word of mouth/literature. We do that all the time. I just struggle with knowing that the evidence I wish existed... doesn't.

And I know people say, "well there IS evidence." I know, I know. I know there's "supporting proof" for certain aspects of the Bible. Sweet. But there obviously isn't the proof that I'm talking about, because if there was proof for everything in the Bible.... actual FACTUAL TRUTH, then a whole lot more people would believe.

Frustrating.

  ¶ 8:59:00 PM